I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
