My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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