Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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