am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Terrible idea I love it
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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