He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
