Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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