Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
