Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
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