once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
