I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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