Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
