Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
