oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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