i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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