I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
