That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
