Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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