I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
