sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
