I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
