Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
