I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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