apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
