why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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