i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
