I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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