all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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