So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just found a bag of teeth...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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