today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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