so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
