You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You can't just leave with hair like that
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize