You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
