my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
did i just pee glitter
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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