So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
