I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
