Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
