I think I died a long time ago.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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