I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
