Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
