He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
