You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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