This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
