There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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