Moan for me like Helen Keller
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize