Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Drunk is not a location!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
