in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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