We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
