4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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