The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
