he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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