I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
