i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
