Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
