Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm getting married
To pizza
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
