Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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