we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
