So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
