med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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