how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
