he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
God, I missed his penis.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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