I love black thongs
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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