Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
