Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
