why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
